Poker Jokes

  • Some cowboys were playing poker in an Old West saloon. One of them laid down the winning hand, and another jumped up, yelling, “He’s cheatin! He ain’t playin the cards I dealt him!”
  • There are TWO rules for ultimate success in poker: 1. Never tell everything you know, and….. (that’s it).
  • A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extraordinary performance. “This is a very smart dog,” the man commented. “Not so smart,” said one of the players, “every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.”
  • Q: What is the difference between a poker player and a dog?

A: In about ten years, the dog quits whining.

  • A bum asks a man for $2

The man says, "Will you buy booze?" The bum says, "No." The man says, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum says, "No." So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble?"

  • The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.

"I’ll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "Why, there are three doctors there already!"

  • Q: What did the giraffe say to the leopard at the poker table?

A: I thought you were a cheetah.

  • Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game?

A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.